Aila's Notes

Aila's Notes

...I told a lie, just like Lovia did, and just like my sister did. I said no when Mr. Solovei asked me if I felt any hate. ...But how can I put the hatred in my heart into words? How would someone as kind and sincere as he is ever understand such horrifying malice? ...No. I cannot think this way, and no one needs to know. Mr. Solovei does not need to be troubled with such trivial things. No one is obliged to bear the weight of another's suffering, which they have not experienced. And even if he truly were willing to listen, and even if his kindness were to move him to tears... what would it change? I would only end up bringing needless pain to another tender heart. In the past, the present, and the future, across the countless threads of fate that Lovia once let me glimpse by mistake, the only ones who shed tears for the misfortunes of others are kind souls who ought to be smiling instead. And since the sublunary sphere has always been one where good is repaid with cruelty, the least I could do is spare him a sorrow that does him no good. ...Once upon a time, I despised lies. Yet now, I find myself speaking them with keen intent. Maybe the [...] of the past dozen years or so has been punishment for this very moment... ...But that does not matter anymore. From the noble lady of Salt to the scions of Gurabad's jinni, there have been plenty of instances where the innocent have suffered the gravest of punishments, let alone a sinner as steeped in [...] as I am. If the silvery-white thread has already found its way around my neck, I may as well bear the weight of still more unforgivable sins by myself so that the children who remain untainted may be spared... ...What was born of the Frost Moon must return to it. All the walls, towers, fortresses, and temples must be torn down, save for the great pillar raised here by the Dragonborn, that is, the sacred sanctuary where our ancestors found refuge. Prolonged isolation and seclusion serve only to nourish fleeting ambitions and hollow delusions. Let it be reverence for nature, kindness toward outlanders, and those virtues in which none believe, and not the pride of the dead, which sets our threads apart from theirs. Only then will there never again be another Lovia... or another me. ...Decades from now, a new moon goddess will be born... Oh, the irony of it! Lovia's long and desperate quest was, in the end, for nothing. Even if [...] had borne the sacred heir as foretold, and not the man who abducted my sister... The one who should have been our sovereign would only have created even greater chaos in Snezhnaya. The birth of the new moon had nothing to do with anything she did. She could not even foresee the coming of that maiden, and nor did she know that the holy throne had never truly been broken... ...I do not know if I will live to see that moment, for my own thread is hidden from my sight. But I pray that I will not. Those tainted by sin do not deserve to witness the moon's pure light... ...In any case, people must come to believe that the new moon takes delight only in kindness, friendship, and mutual aid — that no other prayer or sacrifice will ever please our goddess. This is what they must believe, because if they do not, then no matter how noble the ideal, it will only wither and fade into the filth that lies beneath the moon... ...The threads of the gods are too bright for me to follow, and I cannot see where she is headed. But at the very least, the Frostmoon Scions, who have been redeemed in her name, must ensure that the power of choice remains hers alone. No one should ever seek repayment or reward from her, and she must never be molded into the "perfect deity" others wish her to become... ...Daughter of the Frost Moon, maiden of the new moon... May she one day behold the dream of true happiness... and may the Frost Moon never forgive my sins, for I have cursed her name more times than I can count.